argh~! i m a failure man!!!! argh...i told myself not to cry over tis matter anymore...i told myself i dun lyk him le!!!! i thought i could really do it...i thought my feelings really fade...i even told tiantian that yes...i really dun lyk him le...all tis are juz merely my thoughts and nth else... my heart juz wouldnt tally wif my thinking...juz nw..i accidentally deleted the emoticons den only belongs to both of us ONCE...the 'POOH' emoticons..it was red in colour...and the piglet was in blue colour...the heart..was in purple colour..as blue+red is purple...that was already the past memories which i had...i was hoping that tian and ying will have it...but tian only have the piglet emoticons...ying reformat her com...so dun have le..hais...TIAN..i m not blaming u for msging him to ask him for the emoticon...i did not even sae is ur fault..i was juz asking u in a friendly manner...i ended my qn wif '...' not even i qn mark...or worst a '!' ...pls understand me...hais...as i understand u did all tis is becos u dun wanna see mi sad on my birthday which is tmr...i noe u wanna me be happy...u r caring..i noe..i noe all tis..thats y i nv sae anytink ...but juz asking u.. and instead u sae..'is my fault lah' hais..do u noe it hurts when i see tis..as i expect u to understand mi...instead of gifing me tis kinda reply...actually i was so tired to explain to u wat i actually meant...i felt tired of everytink...but i still explained to u..PLS UNDERSTAND ME... i m oso a human...i have feelings..i have my moodswing and temper too...sumtimes..i really felt so tired of listening to ppl probs...i want ppl there to listen to my prob...but when i tell u guys... ur give me a feeling that...u all are arent interested at all...i dun noe...mayb is i over sensitive or wad...hais..no other meaning for saying all tis...i juz wanna vent my thoughts out...and another ting...i mayb cant celebrate sia..i asked my mum...she sae no..and ask mi go ask my dad...argh~! cant they juz understand mi for once! tis is my last yr in sec sch life! sec 4...! i wanna have a unforgettable birthday wif all my friends! my mum said...friends next time can contact de mah..yah! i noe...but next time..or by the time...all of us will have new friends...chances of us getting together are slim...i wanna seize very chances thats i could have fun wif ...wif all my friends... i want all tis to be part of my memories...! hais...really hope my dad will allow... sob